Change is such a funny, scary, weird thing to me... I hate change more than anything on this earth, it terrifies me. The thought of my whole world as I know it being torn apart by one moment or one action is soo scary to me. One of the scariest changes of my life was college... It might have been the simple fact that my best friend (the person I had spent almost every moment of high school with) was moving to the other end of the state and wouldn't be there every day, or maybe it was the whole leaving behind my family, or perhaps that fact that I just didn't want to grow up... regardless of what it was I was terrified... I cried for a week straight every time I would get in my car or be alone by myself I would sob... I'll never forget the ride to school, it was the longest, scariest, most emotional drive of my life... One set of parents in the car in front of me and the other in the car behind me... I cried almost the whole drive I was terrified! The point of this post though isn't to preach about the fact that change is my worst enemy... the point is to tell you just how funny and ironic I think change is.
About three weeks ago I was called in for a job interview as many of you know I live in Logan, Utah but the job interview was in Midvale, Utah about 2 hours away. So knowing how good I am with directions gave myself two and a half hours just in case I got lost. Well I was right I did get lost (this is where the whole irony of change comes in) so in normal Jayden fashion I loose it!!! I'm talking larger than life, high school, cry and punch the steering wheel meltdown. For those of you who don't know me well in high school I was known for having larger than life meltdowns at least once every two weeks luckily I had two very amazing advisors who quickly learned what to say when one of these occurred.... Now back to my story/meltdown. Right in the middle of my lost meltdown I realize just how much hasn't changed. There I was lost, stressed, and crying in the parking lot of some fast food restaurant as on lookers gawk and stare at the freak show taking place right in front of them, having an epiphany about change.
No matter how much a person thinks they have changed they have to realize that some things just never change. Don't get me wrong I firmely belive if you don't like something they yes you can change it but sometimes even for a split second that thing you thought you changed can come back. I hadn't had a meltdown like that in months then out of nowhere over something little the meltdown was back in full fledged attack! Of course I couldn't help but laugh at how ironic it was and how long it had taken me to learn that not every aspect of my life had changed. It was a little comforting to know that no matter how many things in my life had changed there would always be things that didn't.
Just remember that no matter how scary change can be, not everything will change. If you're anything like me you will grab a hold of the non change and never let it go. My challenge to you and to me is to embrace the change but don't let the change completely change who you are and the things that matter to you!
Jay
