"Somebody Must Be Praying For Me"...

Wow I haven't wrote for a long time!! Don't worry i'll catch you up! Have you ever had one of those moments in life when everything just falls into place and things couldn't be more perfect? I don't know about you but whenever I drive I get these epiphanies if you could call them that... Just simple thoughts that blow me away and truely make me aware of everything around me. So as I was driving around the other night I realized just how perfect my life is going right now and how lucky I am! I couldn't help but feel such a huge amount of gratitude. Most people would go with the common saying of "I must be doing something right" but I had a different thought all together... "somebody must be praying for me" because I know that I couldn't have done any of this without God and without some prayers on my behalf. I've been selected to represent Utah as the National FFA Officer Candidate at this years National Convention, i'm serving Utah State University College of Agriculture and Applied Sciences as the 2013-2014 Student advocate, I have an amazing summer internship with the Tooele Agriculture Program and FFA Chapter, I have an amazing group of friends, and an amazing family! So to whoever is praying for me thank you, grandpa thank you for always watching out for me up there, and God thanks for answering the many prayers on my behalf! I'm one lucky girl!!

Jay

Change...

Change is such a funny, scary, weird thing to me... I hate change more than anything on this earth, it terrifies me. The thought of my whole world as I know it being torn apart by one moment or one action is soo scary to me. One of the scariest changes of my life was college... It might have been the simple fact that my best friend (the person I had spent almost every moment of high school with) was moving to the other end of the state and wouldn't be there every day, or maybe it was the whole leaving behind my family, or perhaps that fact that I just didn't want to grow up... regardless of what it was I was terrified... I cried for a week straight every time I would get in my car or be alone by myself I would sob... I'll never forget the ride to school, it was the longest, scariest, most emotional drive of my life...  One set of parents in the car in front of me and the other in the car behind me... I cried almost the whole drive I was terrified! The point of this post though isn't to preach about the fact that change is my worst enemy... the point is to tell you just how funny and ironic I think change is.

About three weeks ago I was called in for a job interview as many of you know I live in Logan, Utah but the job interview was in Midvale, Utah about 2 hours away. So knowing how good I am with directions gave myself two and a half hours just in case I got lost. Well I was right I did get lost (this is where the whole irony of change comes in) so in normal Jayden fashion I loose it!!! I'm talking larger than life, high school, cry and punch the steering wheel meltdown. For those of you who don't know me well in high school I was known for having larger than life meltdowns at least once every two weeks luckily I had two very amazing advisors who quickly learned what to say when one of these occurred.... Now back to my story/meltdown. Right in the middle of my lost meltdown I realize just how much hasn't changed. There I was lost, stressed, and crying in the parking lot of some fast food restaurant as on lookers gawk and stare at the freak show taking place right in front of them, having an epiphany about change.

No matter how much a person thinks they have changed they have to realize that some things just never change. Don't get me wrong I firmely belive if you don't like something they yes you can change it but sometimes even for a split second that thing you thought you changed can come back. I hadn't had a meltdown like that in months then out of nowhere over something little the meltdown was back in full fledged attack! Of course I couldn't help but laugh at how ironic it was and how long it had taken me to learn that not every aspect of my life had changed. It was a little comforting to know that no matter how many things in my life had changed there would always be things that didn't.

Just remember that no matter how scary change can be, not everything will change. If you're anything like me you will grab a hold of the non change and never let it go. My challenge to you and to me is to embrace the change but don't let the change completely change who you are and the things that matter to you!

Jay

How much it means...

It's really funny how much one thing can mean to a person. It could be an inanimate object such as a blanket, and animate object like a dog, or not even an object at all but rather an organization. For those of you who didn't know, this week is National FFA Week. This is a week when FFA members and advisors all across the country celebrate this amazing organization with various activities at their schools. For instance some activities we did when I was an officer is our annual donut eating contest one day during lunch, wearing official dress to school on Friday, or my personal favorite getting up at four in the morning to cook the faculty and staff of my high school breakfast one day. No matter what activities we were doing we always had a blast. Now that I am out of high school and no longer get to do all those fun activities with my home chapter I have found myself looking back and recalling some of my favorite times, and I realized yet again what difference FFA has made in my life. Being a high school student is hard without any added trials. I was a freshman in high school as well as a kid smack dab in the middle of a messy divorce. I lived in a semi-small town and as you can guess the divorce my parents were going through was a public ordeal. I lost a place to keep my SAE project (sheep) and my horse. I was so angry at my now ex-stepfather and at the world. The only place I felt that I could escape all of it was my advisors classrooms. When the bell to dismiss us from school at the end of each day rang I would bolt to the Ag classroom and find any excuse to not go home that I could; I dreaded going home. Going home meant that I had to comfort my crying mother, deal with the anger issues that my brothers and I had, and pick up the pieces that the divorce left scattered on the floor of our messy house. I was fourteen years old and dealing with demons that no kid at that age should have to deal with, but despite it all FFA and my advisors Bob Gowans and Jannette Shields stepped up and became my stability, my heroes, and my second set of parents. Don’t get me wrong my parents truly did all they could to help me and give me opportunities, one of which was supporting my FFA involvement no matter how expensive it was, but they also had to juggle work and emotional clean up. My advisors took me under their wing, they let me keep my sheep at their house, they would drive me 150 miles to get my sheep each year, they spent countless hours talking to me and helping me through my emotional issues, but most importantly they showed me that no matter what happens in life there will always be people around you to support you and lift you up. FFA took a young girl with a somewhat rough family life and gave her a safe haven, a passion, and a goal in life.There are tons of memories I have that involve me learning a life lesson but no matter how many I share I know you nor anyone else will realize just how much FFA does mean to me and to other people.

I want to end with this quote by Alicia Hodnik the 2011-2012 National FFA Central Region Vice President "FFA is the place where young travelers hop on a plane for the first time, iron their first pair of dress slacks, learn how to tie their first tie, make their first friend outside of their home town, and wear their first jacket that unites them with thousands, yet allows them to stand unique. It is a place where our closest friends can be our classmates as well as our agriculture teachers. A place where people believe in what we can do because our passion is our drive. FFA grows people and strengthens agriculture. It is a place where leaders have a hunger to better themselves, not for personal gain, but for the common-good of their fellow man. It is a place where humility is practiced and thought is provoked. It's a place where the tradition of blue corduroy and high morals have never gone out of style. Here’s to 85 years – Happy National FFA Week! Forever blue.”

I could not speak a truer statement then the that... Happy FFA Week Everyone!!
Jay

Mission or No Mission

 It seems that lately more and more the topic of a mission is brought up to me. I have always thought a mission would be awesome and when I was a senior in high school I had a couple months that I really thought and prayed about it and then bam more mistakes where made on my part and a mission was no longer a desire... But now lately I'm getting that feeling again. However I have moments that I don't feel like its the right thing and I don't know whether its me doubting my worthiness to serve or whether it is The Lord telling me that it is not the right thing to do... I wish this were easier I'm so confused and at this moment I wish The Lord worked in not so mysterious ways... However I do have about 8 months to figure it out so I guess we will see what The Lord has in store for me!! 

Till next time 

Jay 

My rules for life...

So i'm driving back to school after a long weekend in Tooele and you know those drives when every song that comes on the radio is one of your favorites... well that was my drive tonight... one after another of all my all time favorite songs. Which then leads to one of the greatest songs of all time... Lee Ann Womack's I Hope You Dance... Obviously this song leads every person who listens to it to ponder on there life... so tonight as i'm doing my own pondering I start thinking of my rules of life... what is my motto for life? I think back to thing awesome idea I had when I moved up here to Logan and started school for those of you who know me i'm a HUGE ncis fan and on ncis the head boss has Rules... they are basically his way of life his motto's for lack of a better term and when I started school I thought it would be amazing if I came up with some rules for myself... rules that I could live by... so here they are inspired by NCIS and Lee Ann Womack's song I Hope You Dance as well as many other little people who I will mention by each rule... Jayden's Rules for Life...

1. Say I Love You because you never know when someone will be gone... Miss you grandpa not a day goes by!! 

2. Always ask yourself "is it the right thing to do?"

3. Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy (stolen from a qoute that was shared with my friend Cinda by another friend Kody) 

4. Dream HUGE cause big just isnt big enough!! 

5. Always say Thank you!

6. Forgive others... its the only way you will get through life! 

7. Be early (my first proffesor Doc. Fronske pounded this rule into my head the first week of school) 

8. Don't be scared to fall in love!! 

9. Cowgirls don't cry... enough said!  

10. Don't forget to pray!

11. Loose yourself in the service of others (inspired by my favorite qoute from Gordon B. Hinkley and my mom) 

12. Live life as it comes don't try to change it!! 

13. Change is good... repeat this as needed cause there is power in repetition (Thanks Heather)  

14. You can't do it alone... trust God let him do his job!!

15. Love is the key to life!! (my high school seminary teacher wrote this in my yearbook I have finally figured out what it means thanks Bro. L) 

16.  Don't regret... anything!! 

17. Treat others with respect even if you don't like them (also pounded into my head by Doc.)

18. Do Hard Things First (the last rule that was pounded in my head by Doc. Fronske... She is awesome!!) 

19. Sometimes Your wrong (inspired by NCIS but also because I have found this to be true more often then not) 

20. Be Yourself!!

I'm still learning new things each day and I know my list of rules will get bigger with each passing day and experience and I can't wait!!

Till next time...
Jayden 

Testimony

My heart is so full of gratitude today... It is soo incredibly amazing to me when I realize how truely the Lord knows me and how much he loves me despite the mistakes I have made. Last time I wrote about moments in which we are speachless well I find myself sitting in one of those moments again today. My tears are overflowing and I am truly speachless. I am soo blessed with such a great life I have some of the most amazing friends and family that stand by my side and serve as my examples through the good and the bad, I have the knowledge and testimony of  this wonderful gospel, and I have a wonderful, merciful, gentle, loving, Savior who forgives me and loves me in some of my darkest hours. I am constantly left in awe at the things that he teaches me each day. I don't always do the right thing actually the more I look back the more I realize very rarely have I done the right things. I have made soo many brutal mistakes that never thought I would find myself making but here I am caught looking back and seeing those mistakes in my past. I slipped and fell so many times, so many times I thought that I would never survive the mistakes I had made, and so many times I was picked up and carried out of the heartbreak I put myself in. I had and continue to ask why? Why would Heavenly Father help me, the one who had caused myself the pain; why should he forgive me?   Why did Christ take it upon himself to free me of all of my sins and mistakes? With each question my testimony grows so much stronger. I know that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love me with a love that I cannot even fathom or begin to describe and imagine despite the mistakes I have made, and the mistakes I will make. I know they live more than I know anything else on this earth, I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is true without a shred of doubt in my mind!! I love this gospel and I love my merciful Heavenly Father and my Savior Jesus Christ more than anything else.

Moments...

Wow there is a lot on my mind tonight... Sometimes there comes a point in your life when words don't describe a moment properly or when words don't do something justice... Those moment for me occur at times when my life seems to be in shambles and I'm trying to pick my self up off the floor or at times when i least expect... They're either moment of pure joy, moments of pure pain, or moment when that is exactly what I needed to hear and feel in order to learn something... Either way these moments are perfectly tailored to fit my life situation they are without a doubt in my mind straight from God. These moments show me just how much he loves me and how unconditional that love is... Some of those moments this past week for me were driving to Gunnison for my cousins birthday and being immediately brought back to my last state convention, I was in the passenger seat of the school suburban next to my advisor who was driving, some of my best friends sat in the back and for those who know me you know how big of a deal this one drive would be. Not only was I driving to my last state convention as a high school student but it was also the drive that would bring me closer to the end of a goal I had set my freshman year of high school that goal was to become a State FFA Officer. The whole ride my mind was racing each person in the car did their best to make me feel a little less nervous about what I was about to do... The car ride was filled with laughs, review questions, serious conversations, and finished with a I'm proud of you no matter what speech from my FFA advisor and hero.... Another moment would come last night as I heard about the death of a young man I hardly knew but had been changed by. This moment made me realize that I should have reached outside my comfort zone a little more in high school because them I could have gotten to know this amazing person with the smile that light up every room he walked in and the laugh that was purely contagious and made everyone around want to live life to the fullest... The final moment describes perfectly how much our Heavenly Father knows and loves each of us and makes me great full that I have a testimony of that and that I have a testimony of answered prayers. Sometimes moments change how we look at life and those around us and those moments are the ones that can and will change our lives for the better if we let them... 

So my challenge to you is to pay more attention to the moments that have you speechless and let those moments change your life... Take a leap of faith  and fall into the moments! 

Jay